I Now Present Mr. and Mrs. Prime

The day has finally come. The day you’ve been waiting for your whole life. Everything’s perfect; your dress is ironed out perfectly and stainless. Your hair and makeup are done flawlessly and you’ve even refrained from crying so that your mascara won’t run. You stand there, looking at your smiling father who’s trying not to cry; he doesn’t want to let his little girl go. Your hearts beating faster than it ever has and the priest begins. “Do you _____ ______ take R2D2 to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

Wait. What?

No, according to David Levy, the AI researcher at the University of Maastricht, this isn’t just a nightmare you want to wake up from. To him ” "It may sound a little weird, but it isn't," Levy said. "Love and sex with robots are inevitable." And that includes marriage.

The real question I'm having problems with in regards to the article “Sex and marriage with robots? It could happen," is whether or not I am truly supposed to take it seriously. In all honesty, instead of a serious, informative article based on valuable research, it seems like a satirical piece of writing, created to poke fun at society. What have we come to as a society, when we have to use artificially developed machines in order to provide those deprived individuals with intimacy?

After skimming through the article for first time, I forced everyone I know to read this quote:

"My forecast is that around 2050, the state of Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize marriages with robots," artificial intelligence researcher David Levy at the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands told LiveScience.

If this isn’t one of the most ridiculous things you’ve ever read, I’m forced to question the things that you read. It’s unbelievable that in a society, struggling with issues such as same sex marriages, and even where interracial relationships are ‘frowned upon,’ it is thought that marriage with robots will be seen as a “norm.” What is society coming to when an absolutely ludicrous idea like this will be allowed? At first, it may seem like a funny and even interesting thought, but when taking an idea like this seriously and actually thinking about the repercussions of allowing people to marry robots, it just gives me a solemn, scared feeling.

In dealing with an issue like this, it’s important to consider the root of the cause; where exactly did an idea like this even come from? What compelled someone to consider creating a business like this? After fighting with myself over this question, and thinking that “people a insane” was not the reason, I’ve come up with a pretty simple hypothesis:

Human beings are lazy. (and perhaps a little bit insane)

At face value, this is something which is certainly obvious, but I feel like this is turning into a problem of epic proportions. It’s obvious that our society is a lazy one, but if it’s come to a point where we are so obsessed with efficiency, and it has become too much of an inconvenience to “look for love, how can we not sit back and consider the fact that we may have a serious problem on our hands? We’ve all had our share of bad relationships, and yes, they are difficult, emotionally, and financially strenuous, however, I’m hoping I’m not the only one that would never, even for a second, consider marrying a robot. There are just too many reasons that make this a ridiculous notion; for one, the social repercussions. Not that it really matters, but what would others say if I rolled up to my fancy, office party and introduced everyone to my loving husband, Optimus Prime? Secondly, I wonder what my parents would have to deal with if I sent out wedding invitations to their closest friends which stated:

On ________, you are cordially invited to the wedding of Rose Sharifi and Voltron

There are too many questions when it comes to the idea of robot marriage to even consider it as a realistic idea. How is David Levy going to tackle the physical aspects of a robot? How are the robots going to have the warmth of human beings? What are they going to feel like? When I think of robot, I think “big, cold, metal, box.” I’m not sure more than... 2 in 6 billion people would find a spouse like this appealing, because I know I sure as hell don’t. There is also the financial aspect which would be a problem in marrying a robot. I’m not sure one could depend on their robot spouse to be a breadwinner of the family. There’s another idea; family. There’s not only the issue of raising a family, but how is one supposed to even have children with a robot spouse? Does sex with a metal box even sound pleasant or even realistic?

I’m sure you agree that I don’t think robot marriage is realistic, but I haven’t even talked about the fact that it’s just plain..sad. I just feel like it’s a pathetic notion to have to get married to a robot. Yes, there are individuals that are self conscious and think that they are ugly or not good enough, but no one has to stoop to the level of marrying something so artificial. Isn’t it more psychologically damaging to marry something that you know is programmed to love you than not have love at all?

In the end, instead of an intriguing idea that could help poor, lonely individuals in the world, this just seems like a scary idea from a sci-fi novel gone wrong. A sci-fi novel that no one should ever consider reading...